soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
