i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
