I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
