____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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