I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
