last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
