Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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