somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.