I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle