If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.