Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
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How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap