she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
