sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
