Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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