i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
