so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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