If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
