idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
