Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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