His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
last night I used snow as a chaser
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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