Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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