Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
