Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
