this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
There are leaves in my underwear?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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