she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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