if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize