Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
