Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I believe in your delicious
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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