if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
