i just wanna soil my oats bro
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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