she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
