i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
