Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
