Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize