she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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