i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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