i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
3pm strippers are depressing
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
