he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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