Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
