well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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