i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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