so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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