I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
