shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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