You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
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I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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