I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
