On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
