is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
