what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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