she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
