So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
