I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
