thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
