fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
