Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize