Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
