You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize