the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
