her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
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I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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